


Disease

by FrankenSpine



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Depression, F/F, Hiding Medical Issues, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Neurological Disorders, Recovery, Self-Acceptance, Self-Esteem Issues, Suicidal Thoughts, semi-happy ending, this is a sad story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:48:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27597787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrankenSpine/pseuds/FrankenSpine
Summary: Emma has been struggling to hide a deep secret, but when it is discovered by her former enemy— now her closest friend and ally— she realizes she doesn't have to deal with her problems alone.
Relationships: Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan
Comments: 21
Kudos: 141





	1. Discovery

Emma was walking down the sidewalk with her gloved hands stuffed in her coat pockets. On her face was a pained expression, one which did not go unnoticed by Ruby as she passed by the diner.

“Hey, Emma. Something wrong?”

Emma’s heart skipped a beat. “Huh?” she asked quickly.

Ruby blinked in surprise. “You look stressed. Wanna come inside? I’ll pour you a drink.”

Emma shook her head. “No thanks, Rubes. It’s too early for that.”

Ruby laughed. “Hey, it’s five-o’clock _somewhere,_ right?”

Emma offered a halfhearted smile. “I guess so,” she said softly, “I hate to bail, but I’ve got to meet up with Regina. Magic lessons, ya know?” She continued hurriedly down the sidewalk.

“Good luck with that!” Ruby called after her.

She almost waved, but stopped herself when she thought better of it, and instead transported herself to the cemetery. She normally would have driven, but today was not a normal day. She needed to clear her thoughts, and walking had always helped her. She just hoped one of Regina’s books could do the same.

She descended into the vault and went to the shelf where Regina’s spell books were kept. With great reluctance, she pulled her hands from her pockets and uttered a quiet curse when she saw that the shaking had only gotten worse. She gripped one of the books tightly as she flipped through the worn pages, gritting her teeth so hard they nearly shattered right then and there.

When she couldn’t find what she was looking for, she huffed and started going through another book, then another, and another, and so on until she’d formed a stack of thirteen. In doing so, she had worked herself up so much that her fingers were all twitching non-stop. She frowned when the familiar scent of spiced apples met her nose, and then her eyes nearly burst from their sockets. That was the smell of Regina’s magic.

 _“Emma?”_ came the voice of the Mayor, _“What are you doing down here? I told you we wouldn’t be practicing today.”_

Emma turned around quickly, hiding her hands behind her back as a panicked look settled onto her face. She tried her best to mask it with an uncomfortably-wide smile, which seemed to concern the brunette.

“Emma? Is everything alright? Why are you looking at me like that? And why are you hiding your hands?”

Emma forced out an awkward laugh. “Hiding my hands? Don’t be ridiculous! They’re, uh, just cold!” She stuffed them into her back pockets.

Regina’s brows furrowed. “Cold? You’re wearing gloves, and you know my magic keeps this place warm.”

“Yeah, well, I’m cold natured.”

Now Regina was visibly annoyed as she folded her arms. “I’ve seen you wear shorts in thirty-degree weather. ‘Cold natured,’ my ass. What’s _really_ going on here, Miss Swan?”

“Oh, so we’re back to ‘Miss Swan,’ are we?”

“We are until you tell me the truth. You think I can’t also tell when _you’re_ lying?”

Emma became so overwhelmed in that moment that the shaking worsened. “Oh _fuck,”_ she said, louder than she intended. Tears welled in her eyes, and she bit her lip to stifle a sob.

This brought a look of genuine worry to the Mayor’s face. “Emma? I don’t know what this is about, but you know you can tell me anything, right?”

With great reluctance, Emma revealed her hands to her concerned friend and mentor. The tears in her eyes slipped down her cheeks. Regina studied her hands with confusion, initially blind to the shaking, but then it became clear. The brunette took hold of her hands, but the tremors continued.

“Oh, Emma,” Regina rasped, “How long has this been happening?”

“A few months,” Emma said, sobbing.

Regina was shocked. _“Months?_ Why didn’t you tell me about this sooner? Does Henry know?”

Emma shook her head. “I don’t know what to do, Regina. It was minimal at first, but lately it’s gotten so much worse, and I just— I can’t stop it. I thought that maybe one of your books could help me.”

Regina slowly shook her head. “I’m sorry, dear, but I’m afraid I don’t know how to help you. Not with magic, anyway. I’ve never dealt with anything like this before.”

“Then what am I gonna do? I can’t let people see me like this!”

“And why not? Of course it’s unfortunate, but why would anyone here think any less of you for it?”

“Because I’m the Savior! I’m supposed to be strong!”

Regina placed her hands on the blonde’s shoulders. “Emma, look at me. You _are_ strong. Whatever this is, and whatever’s causing it, it doesn’t make you weak.”

Emma stared down at her trembling hands, clenching them into tight fists. “But how am I supposed to live this way? How am I gonna hold a pen without scribbling all over the paper? Or drink my coffee without spilling it everywhere? Or do anything at all?! I mean, for all I know, this is gonna start affecting my legs, too! I’ll hardly be able to walk!”

She was left speechless when Regina pulled her into a warm embrace.

“I’ll help you in whatever ways I can, Emma,” the brunette said softly, “I promise.”


	2. Diagnosis

Regina clutched Emma’s trembling hand as the two of them waited for Doctor Whale to show up. After what seemed like an eternity, he stepped into the sterile room with a clipboard and a mildly amused expression.

“What’s the matter, Swan? Need the Queen to hold your hand?”

Emma turned away, embarrassed, and said nothing.

“This is no time for your stupid jokes, Whale,” Regina said with a deep frown, “Emma has a serious problem, and we need you to tell us what’s going on.”

“Alright, Your Majesty, chill out. I was just trying to lighten the mood,” Whale countered, “What seems to be the problem?”

Emma met his curious gaze reluctantly, removing her gloves and showing him her trembling hands.

“My hands,” she said, “they’ve been shaking for the past three months, and I was able to hide it for a while, but it’s so much worse now and I think I might know why. I’m just too afraid to say it.”

This seemed to intrigue the man. “Well, what _do_ you think it is?”

“Didn’t you hear a _word_ she said?” Regina snapped, “She just told you—”

“Regina, it’s fine,” Emma said pointedly. A heavy sigh escaped her. “I guess it could be—” she hesitated _“—Parkinson’s.”_

Whale’s expression became one of genuine concern. “Have you been experiencing any other symptoms? Muscle stiffness? Changes in speech?”

“Some muscle stiffness, yeah, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with my voice.” Emma seemed to doubt herself. “Is there?”

“Not that I can tell,” said Whale, “Where exactly are you experiencing stiffness?”

“My arms, mostly. What worries me most is whether or not this is gonna spread to my legs.”

The Doctor sighed softly. “Unfortunately, Parkinson’s Disease is a gradual occurrence. Little by little, your entire body will start to shake, and it’s not an absolute guarantee, but there is a good chance you may have to be confined to a wheelchair. I’m not saying that’s what this is, but I wouldn’t rule it out just yet, either.”

Emma buried her face in her quivering hands. “Thanks, Doctor Whale,” she muttered, _“Thanks a lot.”_

“No problem, Swan.”

Regina glared at the man, who promptly grimaced and bolted for the door.

“I’ll be back shortly,” he said, and then he was gone.

Regina’s face softened as she turned to Emma. “Parkinson’s or not, we’ll get through this, Emma— together.”

 _“We?”_ Emma asked bitterly, “You’re not the one whose body is turning against you.”

Regina frowned a little. “No, I’m not, but seeing you this way is just as painful for me, Emma.”

This stunned Emma, and a look of remorse masked her face. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, “I didn’t mean to be rude.”

“You weren’t rude, Emma. You’re just in a great deal of pain, and no one is going to blame you for shutting people out. I just pray you don’t do it to Henry.”

Emma was visibly hurt by this. “You think I’d turn him away? Hell, do you think I’d turn _you_ away? You said it yourself, Regina. We’re in this together. I just don’t know if I want to tell my parents. At least, not yet. You of all people should know my mother can’t keep her mouth shut.”

Regina nearly chuckled, but she thought better of it. “You don’t have to tell them if you aren’t ready, but if I were you, I would do it soon. They’ll notice it eventually.”

Emma nodded. “Yeah, yeah, I know,” she rasped, “I just don’t want them to be disappointed in me.”

“They’re your parents, Emma. Believe me when I say that there is nothing you could ever do to make them feel disappointed— especially not regarding _this._ This is no one’s fault, and it certainly isn’t yours.”

They waited in silence for what seemed like a lifetime before Doctor Whale returned.

“I can’t say for sure if you have Parkinson’s, Emma. We’ll just have to wait and see what happens, if anything. Who knows? This may just be some magical mishap, and you could very well end up getting better in no time.”

A quiet sob escaped Emma. “Don’t,” she said.

Whale cocked his head in confusion. “Don’t what?”

_“Don’t give me hope.”_

* * *

Emma was lying on the couch in her living room, grateful to have a house all to herself. It had two been days since she’d gone to see Whale. She hadn’t been to work, claiming she was sick, and asked David to fill in as Sheriff for the time being. He didn’t suspect a thing, but Emma wished she didn’t have to lie to him.

Even so, the last thing she needed right now was to face her parents. Mary Margaret in particular. She couldn’t let them see her this way. At least, not anytime soon. She wanted to wait and see how this turned out before she told them anything. Her heart skipped a beat when she heard a knock at the door, but a sigh of relief escaped her once she heard Regina’s voice.

_“Emma? Are you in there?”_

Emma slowly pulled herself up off the couch and went to the door, opening it just a crack. The knob rattled in her hand, and so she was quick to let go. She looked down to see the steaming pan of lasagna the brunette was holding, and her mouth began to water.

“Hey,” she said softly, “That smells pretty good.”

Regina offered a warm smile. “Thank you, dear. I know this won’t change anything, but I was hoping it would at least make you feel better.”

Emma returned the smile, though it was halfhearted. “Thanks, Regina. Do, uh, you wanna come in?”

“If it’s not too much trouble.”

Emma stepped back and opened the door. “Not at all.”

She laid out some potholders, and when Regina set the pan down on the counter, Emma noticed the lasagna had already been cut evenly. It was flattering and devastating all at once, and she bore a conflicted expression.

“You cut it for me,” she whispered.

Regina gave a small nod. “Yes. I didn’t want you to have to struggle.”

The faintest hint of a smile tugged at Emma’s lips. Anyone else probably would have missed it, but not Regina. She placed her hand onto Emma’s, feeling it tremble on the countertop.

“You shouldn’t stay cooped up in here by yourself, Emma. It isn’t good for you. Would you mind if I stopped by each day? I just want to make sure you’re alright.”

Emma nodded slowly. “Okay,” she whispered, “Have you told Henry?”

Regina shook her head. “It isn’t my place to tell, but I think you should. Why don’t you come over for dinner sometime this week?”

“But I don’t know what’s wrong with me yet.”

“No, but something _is_ wrong, regardless,” said Regina. She ran her thumb gently over Emma’s white knuckles, and for a moment, the shaking ceased. “I’ll be right there by your side, Emma,” she murmured, “no matter what.”

* * *

Emma eventually found herself back in Whale’s office, but this time she was alone. She hadn’t told Regina she was coming here today, but now she wished she had. She felt like crying, but no tears would fall. It was like she’d completely run out. Instead, she stared blankly out the window and into the dense forest. There was no longer any doubt about it. What she had was Parkinson’s, and there was no denying it. Things were only going to get worse from here.


	3. Depression

It had been two weeks since Emma had come to work, and her parents were growing worried. David stopped by her house one afternoon to check on her and knocked on the door.

“Emma? You home? I picked up some burgers from the diner.”

A solid minute passed, and David almost started to walk away, but then the door creaked open and he looked back to see his daughter’s reddened face and eyes. She had clearly been crying, and by the looks of it, for quite some time. David immediately grew concerned and stepped back up onto the porch.

“Emma? What’s wrong? We’ve been so worried about you.”

Emma rubbed her tears away on the back of her sleeve. Her hands were trembling, but David assumed it was because of stress.

“This isn’t really a good time, Dad,” she said quietly, sniffling a little.

“Alright, well, when _is_ a good time? I don’t mean to pry, but you’ve been shutting yourself in here for weeks now. What’s going on, Emma? Do you have the flu? A fever?”

Emma let out a heavy sigh and slowly shook her head. “No,” she whispered. She cleared her throat and reluctantly opened the door. “Why don’t you come in?” she asked him, “I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”

* * *

David was in shock. _“Parkinson’s?!_ He diagnosed you with Parkinson’s?”

Emma could only nod, absently massaging her wrists.

David ran his hands through his hair. “But it’s only been a few months since this started, and you only saw him three weeks ago. How can he be so sure? That _fucking moron,_ I swear—”

Emma was surprised by her father’s expletive, having never heard him lose his temper before. The man paused when he saw the stunned look on her face and was quick to apologize.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I just don’t get it. How could he diagnose something like that out so quickly?”

“I don’t know, Dad, but he’s the doctor.”

“He’s a mad scientist is what he is,” David countered, “He’s not the kind of doctor that should be going around giving diagnoses. I mean, he got his medical license from a curse! Maybe he was a decent doctor when he was still under the curse, but _now?_ We should’ve chased him away with pitchforks years ago!”

A soft chuckle escaped Emma, but then she sighed sullenly. “Maybe you’re right,” she said, “but who else do I turn to? There aren’t any doctors for like a hundred miles. Okay, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but still. Not a lot of clinics around here. Besides, what else could this be, Dad? I know Whale’s an idiot, but right now, he’s the only one who’s given me a straight answer about what’s happening to me.”

“Couldn’t you, I don’t know, try—”

“Dad, I swear to God, if you say _True Love’s Kiss,_ I might just scream.”

David’s face fell. “It was just a thought.”

“I don’t even have a ‘true love,’” Emma muttered.

“Well, you love Henry, don’t you? I mean, you saved him that way before.”

“Yeah, but that isn’t the point. I don’t think this is something that’s gonna go away overnight. This is _real,_ Dad. It isn’t some hex or curse that can be broken with love and hope. It’s not that simple.”

“You really don’t think there’s _some_ sort of magic that could help you?”

“No,” Emma said, somber yet firm, “I don’t.” She hugged herself tightly. “I need you to promise me something.”

David nodded. “Anything.”

“Don’t mention a word of this to Mom.”

This seemed to hurt the man. _“What?_ You want me to keep something like _this_ from her? Don’t you think she deserves to know?”

“Of course she does! I just— I want to tell her myself, when I’m ready. I know she might mean well, but the last thing I need is for the whole town to know what’s going on with me.”

“What do you— _oh._ Right.” David scratched the back of his head awkwardly and sighed. “Alright,” he said, “I won’t say anything, but I won’t feel good about it, either. Does anyone else know?”

“Just you and Regina.”

“You haven’t even told Henry?”

Emma shook her head. “No. Regina’s been insisting I come to dinner so I can tell him, but I haven’t mustered up the courage just yet. I’m sure she’ll be here any minute to try and get me to go.”

“It’s been weeks, Emma. Don’t you think you should?”

“Yes, of course I do. It’s just not that easy.”

David reached into the paper bag and retrieved one of the wrapped burgers, setting it on the counter.

“You’re looking frail, Emma,” he told her, “Why don’t you eat something?”

“I’m not in the mood.”

This was especially worrying. _“You?_ Not in the mood? Emma, please, you’ve got to eat. Even if it’s just one bite, you need to get some food in your stomach.”

“I’ve got food in the fridge.”

“But have you eaten any of it?”

Emma hesitated. “Not today.”

David picked up the burger and handed it to her. “Please, Emma, just a bite. That’s all I’m asking.”

Yet another heavy sigh escaped his daughter’s lips. “Fine.”

She peeled back the foil and reluctantly took a bite. She was starving, but had no appetite. The taste was not nearly as satisfying as she remembered. She chewed slowly and forced it down with a grimace.

“Happy?” she asked bitterly.

David patted her shoulder. “I love you, Emma. Don’t ever forget that.”

“Love you, too.”

He left shortly after, and the second the door shut behind him, Emma tossed the rest of the burger into the trash. She settled back onto the couch and pulled a blanket over her body as she curled into a fetal position. She didn’t remember falling asleep, but then she found herself being gently shaken awake and saw that it was now dark out. She looked up in confusion to see Regina’s concerned face staring down at her.

“Emma? How are you feeling, dear?”

Emma slowly sat up. “Like I got hit by a train,” she muttered.

Regina sat down on the edge of the couch, gently touching Emma’s arm. “I tried calling and even texting, but you never answered, so I was worried.” She reached up to feel the blonde’s forehead. “You’re burning up,” she said, “Do you have a fever?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Well, why don’t you come over for dinner? I really do think it’s time you told Henry. He’s just as worried about you as I am.”

“I’m not very hungry right now—”

“Emma, _please._ It’s not about the food, and you know that,” Regina said firmly, “but you _should_ eat something. David called me today. He said you made him promise not to tell Snow. He also said you wanted nothing to do with the cheeseburger he brought you.”

“Yeah, well, he was right,” Emma countered, “I took a bite of it like he insisted, and then you know what happened? I threw the damn thing in the trash!”

Regina’s eyes twitched as they began to water. _“Emma,”_ she breathed, pulling the blonde into a warm embrace, “You can’t keep doing this to yourself. I know we have a rocky past, but I _do_ care about you, and seeing you this way, it breaks my heart. I should never have taken you to Whale. We can find another doctor who can—”

“Who can _what?”_ Emma asked her, “Tell me I have Parkinson’s all over again and charge me twice as much for it? No, Regina, I don’t need any of that. I’m miserable enough already. What I _do_ need is peace of mind, but I’m never going to get that when my own body doesn’t even do what my mind tells it to!”

Regina hugged the blonde just a little tighter. “I’ve been doing all sorts of research,” she said, “I’m afraid magic won’t help you, but I think I know what can.”

“And what’s that? Science? Science hasn’t found a cure.”

Regina shook her head. “No, not quite. _Acupuncture.”_

Emma cringed. “Let someone stick me with a bunch of needles? Hell no!”

“It isn’t so bad, Emma, believe me,” said Regina, “and besides, I’ve seen your tattoos. You can’t hate needles _that badly.”_

“Yeah, well, that’s different,” Emma argued, “and it looks like my chances of ever getting another tattoo are dwindling.” She fell silent for a moment, staring deep into Regina’s eyes. “Alright, I’ll come to dinner,” she whispered, “but I can’t promise I’ll eat anything.”

Regina smiled faintly. “And I can’t promise I won’t make you.”

For the first time in a long time, Emma let out a genuine laugh. It wasn’t much, but it was certainly a start.


	4. Dinner

Emma gripped her fork with a trembling hand, doing everything in her power to keep still, but her efforts were futile. Henry looked at her curiously from across the table, where he was seated next to Regina.

“What’s wrong, Ma? Why are you shaking like that?”

Emma looked to Regina with uncertainty, and the brunette gave a small nod. She hesitated, struggling to find her voice.

“Well, Henry, uh— you see,” she swallowed, “I’ve got what I’m _ninety-nine percent sure_ is Parkinson’s. Do you know what that means?”

Henry nodded slowly. There was worry in his eyes. “Isn’t that what Michael J. Fox has?”

“Yeah,” Emma said quietly, “Yeah, it is.” A conflicted expression fell over her face as she reminisced her troubled youth. “You know, I used to tell everyone he was my father, and that he just wasn’t around because he was too busy time-traveling. No one ever believed me, of course, but that sure didn’t stop me from saying it.”

She fell silent and tried using her fork to cut into the baked salmon on her plate. She wasn’t hungry, but she needed something to distract her from the concerned stares of her son and best friend. Cutting into the fish was simple enough, but it took her a bit longer than it should have to actually get the morsel into her mouth. When she finally did, she closed her eyes and slowly chewed the salmon, savoring its taste along with that of the various seasonings Regina had used.

“How is it, Emma?” Regina asked softly.

When Emma opened her eyes, a faint but genuine smile graced her lips. “Perfect,” she said, “Absolutely _perfect._ Thank you, Regina.”

Regina smiled back at her. “You’re welcome, dear. I appreciate that.”

The three of them finished their meals in silence, and afterwards, Emma started to pick up her plate to bring it into the kitchen, but Regina was quick to stop her.

“Don’t worry about that, Emma. I’ll get it later.”

There was a very good chance Regina was only saying this to be polite, but in Emma’s mind, this translated to something far different. Emma sat back in her chair and massaged her wrist a bit, convinced that Regina believed she would end up dropping the fine China and breaking it. She couldn’t exactly blame the woman, but the notion was still painful.

Regina seemed to sense Emma’s unease and took a slow sip of her wine before standing up with a wide smile.

“Why don’t we all head into the living room?” she asked, “I’m sure there’s something we can watch on TV. It just needs to be PG.”

Henry was allowed to choose the movie they watched, and to Emma’s dismay, he opted for _Back to the Future._ Prior to these past few months, it had been one of her all-time favorites, but now? Now, seeing Michael J. Fox in his prime, and knowing what had eventually become of him? It broke her.

Regina frowned a bit as realization hit her. “Henry, dear, why don’t we watch something else?”

“But you said I could pick, and this is PG.”

“Yes, well, maybe this isn’t the best thing for us to watch right now.” Regina met Emma’s pained gaze and offered a look of sympathy.

“But Mom—”

“Henry, please, we can watch this another time.”

“It’s fine, Regina,” Emma insisted, “Really.”

Regina blinked in surprise. “Are you sure?”

Emma nodded quickly. “Yup. It’s all good.”

She was lying through her teeth, and only Henry was oblivious to it. The boy got up to switch the lights off and sat back down between his two mothers, contently watching the movie he loved so dearly.

Emma squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her quivering fists, hoping that the lack of light in the room would be enough to camouflage this, but Regina noticed. _Of course_ Regina noticed, but not a word was spoken until the movie was over and Henry was upstairs in his room while Regina bid him goodnight.

As Regina came back down the stairs, she found Emma on the couch, knees tucked under her chin.

“Emma?” the brunette asked softly, “Is everything alright?”

Emma tried to force a smile, but tears welled in her eyes and she began to sob quietly. She wanted to say something— anything— but no words ever came. Regina sat down next to her and pulled her into a warm embrace. Her head came to rest upon Regina’s shoulder, and for a moment, she feared the brunette might push her away, but there was no resistance to the intimate contact. Instead, she felt Regina hug her a bit tighter.

“You can stay here tonight,” Regina murmured.

Emma tensed. “I wouldn’t want to be a bother.”

“It’s no bother at all, Emma.” Regina offered a warm smile. “You’re welcome here anytime you like.”

* * *

Several hours later, as Regina found herself unable to fall asleep, she got up and headed back downstairs to pour herself a glass of wine. It had always helped her sleep. When she walked into the dark living room and her eyes adjusted to the lack of light, she was able to make out the faint shape of Emma’s figure lying on the couch beneath a quilt.

Stepping closer, she was shocked to find that the blonde’s hands were no longer shaking. She stood there in silence for what seemed like an eternity, just watching Emma with a soft smile.

The blonde looked so peaceful, more so than she had in months. The signs had been there, but Regina hadn’t been aware of the reasons and never bothered asking questions, something she now regretted deeply. The look of content on Emma’s face, in addition to her soft, steady breathing, melted Regina’s heart.

In that moment, Regina knew she would do anything to keep that look on the Savior’s face. She reached down and gently touched Emma’s shoulder.

 _“I love you, Emma,”_ she murmured.


	5. Denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: head injury/broken bone

“I’m afraid I can’t help you,” said Gold.

Regina was fuming. _“What?”_ she hissed, “You’ve got to have _something_ that can undo all this!”

The Dark One’s eyes narrowed. “Like I said, Madame Mayor, I cannot help you.”

“Damn it! Fine, I’ll make a deal with you! Is that what you want?”

Gold shook his head and released a heavy sigh. “You aren’t listening to me. I am telling you, _Your Majesty,_ that there is nothing I can do. I will not be making any deals with you, because there is nothing you have that I want. My condolences for the Savior’s condition.”

Regina grit her teeth in rage. “Don’t you mention a word of this to anyone! Especially not Emma!”

“Now why would I want to do _that?_ I’ve never been one to spread rumors.”

“If you can’t help her, do you at least know who _can?”_

“Take a look in the mirror,” said the Dark One, “You are her lifeline. She trusts you more than anyone, despite your rocky past. Do whatever you need to— whatever you _can_ do. Just leave _me_ out of it.”

"You heartless bastard!"

Regina left the pawn shop, enraged, and climbed into her car, clenching her fists tightly as she gripped the steering wheel. She uttered a quiet curse and opted to go and check on Emma. Within ten minutes, she’d pulled up to the somber, gray house and stepped onto the creaky porch.

She knocked on the door and waited patiently for Emma to answer it. A solid minute passed with no answer. She knocked some more. Still nothing. She pulled out her phone and tried calling the blonde, and that was when she heard Emma’s upbeat ringtone coming from just inside.

_“There’s a road I’d like to tell you about, lives in my hometown. Lake Shore Drive the road is called, and it’ll take you up or down….”_

The song continued to play, but Emma wasn’t picking up. This was concerning, as the Savior always had her phone in her pocket.

Regina’s heart was thundering in her chest, and without hesitation, she threw the door open and rushed into the house. All the lights were off, and Emma’s phone was lying on the floor, right next to the motionless body of its owner.

Regina swore she felt her heart stop as her wide eyes fell upon her best friend, whose legs were hoisted up on the staircase. She rushed over to Emma, realizing the blonde must have fallen down the stairs. As she looked more closely at Emma’s legs, it dawned on her that the left one was bent at an unnatural angle. It was broken. To make matters worse, her radiant golden hair was soaked with blood, and there was a pool of crimson on the hardwood beneath her head.

* * *

Emma opened her eyes with a groan, feeling hazy. The sensation of pain began to creep through her until the realization hit her like a speeding train. Tears slipped down her pale face and she lifted her throbbing head. It felt like someone had split her skull open with a dull axe. As the memories of what happened slowly flooded back into her foggy mind, panic set in.

_She’d been up in her room searching through her closet for a pair of shoes that didn’t require laces, but when she couldn’t find them, she started heading back downstairs while checking the time on her phone. That was when her legs started to shake, and she lost her balance, tumbling down the wooden steps and hitting her head on the floor at the bottom. The world went black, and it was all so sudden, like switching off a TV._

Now here she was, in a sterile white room with a needle in her arm, an oxygen mask strapped to her face, and a cast on her left leg. She saw movement in her peripheral and looked with wide, panicked eyes to see a nurse walking into the room just in time to see her regaining consciousness. The nurse gasped and rushed back out into the hallway.

“Doctor Whale! Doctor Whale, she’s awake!”

_“Huh? She, who?”_

“…Emma Swan, sir.”

_“Oh! Right.”_

Whale stepped into the room with an uncomfortable look on his face and the nurse following behind him.

“Welcome back, Swan. We were all worried you might not wake up. How’s your head?”

Emma stared at him in a mix of disbelief, anger and primal hatred, but she said nothing. She wanted to scream at him, but the pain was too overwhelming and she was unable to find her voice.

“Oh, I guess the anesthesia must still be waring off,” Whale said, infuriatingly clueless. He looked down at his clipboard so as to avoid Emma’s intense gaze. “You’ve been out for two days. Mayor Mills was the one who found you.” He turned to the nurse expectantly. “Which reminds me, would you call her, please? I’m sure she’d like to know the Savior is awake.”

“Yes, Doctor Whale.”

Regina appeared less than a minute later in a cloud of purple mist, rushing over to the hospital bed with a look of both panic and relief masking her tear-streaked face.

“Emma! Emma, how are you feeling?” she asked frantically, taking hold of the blonde’s quivering hand.

The hate and rage in Emma’s eyes was substituted with tears, but she still couldn’t find it in herself to speak. She could only squeeze Regina’s thumb, and even that was painful.

“Why don’t we try something?” Regina asked softly, “I’d like to ask you some questions, and I want you to squeeze my hand once for yes and twice for no. Can you do that?”

Emma stared deep into Regina’s eyes as she gave a single squeeze.

The brunette nodded and looked to Whale. “Could we have some privacy, please?”

“Sure thing, Madame Mayor.”

Once Whale was gone, Regina’s attention was solely on Emma. She eyed the small red button near the blonde’s arm and picked it up.

“This button is for giving you pain medication,” she said, “I’m sure you would like me to push it.”

This time, Emma squeezed her hand tightly, and so Regina did just that. Emma’s eyes fluttered shut as the drugs lulled her to sleep, but this time she almost looked peaceful. Her heart rate was as steady as her breathing. The bandages on her head and the mask concealing her mouth made her seem like someone else entirely. Someone who was crying out for help even when she couldn’t say a word.

Regina sat there in silence, clasping her hands around Emma’s and sobbing quietly. She wouldn’t leave the blonde’s side, even if the nurses tried to pry her away.

It wasn’t just Emma’s leg that was broken. The fall had done some serious damage to her skull, but by some miracle, it hadn’t been fatal. Even so, it would take quite some time for her to recover, and Regina would be there for her every step of the way.

As Regina pondered the situation, it dawned on her that Emma’s injuries should have been deadly. Had it been anyone else— anyone at all— they very likely would have succumbed to their injuries. She pursed her lips as a theory crept into the dark recesses of her mind.

She pulled out her phone and did something she never thought she would actually do. She dialed the Dark One’s number and waited for him to pick up. He eventually did, but didn’t bother greeting her.

“Thank you,” she whispered, “It seems I was wrong about you. You _do_ have a heart.”

The reply wasn’t instantaneous, but it came much more quickly than anticipated.

_“I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean, Madame Mayor.”_

A faint smile graced Regina’s lips. “Sure you don’t," she rasped, "I owe you one.”

 _“No. You’re already paying the price,”_ replied the Dark One.

He promptly hung up, and Regina stared at her home screen for a moment, smiling fondly as she studied the smiling faces of herself, Emma and Henry. She’d had this picture for some time now, and had taken it not long before Emma started showing symptoms. She tucked her phone back in her pocket without a word and wiped away her tears.

“No more of that,” she told herself softly, looking down at Emma with a somber expression, “I know you wouldn’t to see me crying like this. You’d probably say you didn’t deserve my sympathy, and I would tell you just how wrong you were.” Once again, she made a much-needed confession. “I love you, Emma Swan, more than you can _possibly_ know.”

She gasped when she felt Emma’s hand squeeze hers, but when she looked, she saw that the blonde was still sleeping.


	6. Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: thoughts of suicide at the end. I *definitely* didn't cry while writing this.

It was almost four weeks before Emma was released from the hospital, but during this time, word spread quickly of her condition. Her parents inevitably showed up. David was holding back tears, but Snow was wailing like a banshee, which helped nothing, and to be quite frank, it was grating on Emma’s nerves. Her headache had been horrible enough already. Her mother’s hysterical sobbing was only making it that much worse. It got so bad that the woman had to be physically removed from the room, and David reluctantly went to console her.

After her first week in the hospital, Emma finally found her voice and asked her father if he’d told Snow about the shaking, but he swore to her that he hadn’t. Even so, Emma decided now was the time. Better to rip the band-aid off right then rather than later. The nurses were hesitant, but they eventually did let Snow back into Emma’s room.

“Mom,” Emma rasped, “Will you _please_ stop crying?”

Snow did her very best, and Emma commended her for it, but even so, she continued to whimper and sniffle as she sat next to her wounded daughter.

Emma took a slow, deep breath, though it was a painful one. She closed her eyes. “Mom, I— I have Parkinson’s. At least, I’m convinced that’s what it is. I fell because my legs started shaking, but they’d never done that before. Guess I won’t be using the stairs ever again.”

Snow let out a sharp gasp, perhaps slightly over-dramatic, but Emma supposed it was fitting.

 _“Parkinson’s?!_ Emma, why didn’t you tell me?”

Emma groaned quietly. “Can you please stop shouting?” She slowly opened her eyes and found her teary-eyed mother staring at her with a remorseful expression. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to be upset, and I didn’t want you to worry about me. Growing up, no one ever cared about me, so I learned not to let them. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’ve never allowed anyone to feel any sort of sympathy for me. I never thought I deserved it.”

“Well, you _do,_ Emma,” Snow told her.

Emma sighed softly. “I wish that was easy to accept,” she said, “but it’s just not that simple.”

Snow placed her hand upon Emma’s and offered a somber smile, but said nothing. They just sat there in silence, knowing there was no need to say what had already been said.

When she was eventually released from the hospital, Emma was rolled out to Regina’s car in a wheelchair and helped into the passenger seat. The chair was folded up and placed in the back, and Regina started driving. As the car passed Emma’s house, she looked to the brunette in confusion.

“Where are we going?”

“My house,” Regina said softly, “I think it would be best if you stayed with Henry and I for the time being.”

“Can we at least get some of my things?”

“It’s already been taken care of, Emma. David helped me move your belongings to the mansion. Well, most of them. We can always go back and get more, if you like.”

Tears welled in Emma’s eyes as she peered out the window. “Thanks, Regina,” she whispered. She blinked in surprise when the brunette’s hand took hold of hers and looked back to see Regina smiling at her with sympathy.

“If there’s anything you need, Emma, anything at all,” Regina murmured, “just ask.”

* * *

Emma was astonished by the things she saw as she was rolled up to the mansion. There was a wheelchair ramp leading up to the door and into the house. Once Regina pushed her inside, the blonde was in awe. The balcony remained, but it was closed off, and the staircase was gone. There was no trace of it at all, as if it had never been there to begin with. Instead there was an elevator, and seeing it melted Emma’s heart.

“You did all this? For _me?”_

“Of course.”

Emma almost didn’t believe it. “How long did this take?”

“Only a few minutes,” said Regina, “You don’t need a construction crew when you’ve got magic.”

A sad smile made its way onto Emma’s lips. “I can’t possibly thank you enough.”

“You don’t need to, dear,” Regina assured her, “I did this because it was a necessity, and because I care for your well-being.”

When the brunette’s hand met her shoulder, Emma reached up to touch it with a trembling hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, as she had for the last month.

“I suppose I should also tell you that I covered your hospital bill.”

Emma’s eyes widened in genuine shock. _“What?”_

“Your parents tried to refuse, but I insisted.”

“Regina, you’re a saint,” Emma rasped.

“If you say so,” said Regina, “Why don’t we head upstairs, hm?”

Emma just nodded, and Regina rolled her into the elevator. She’d tried for so long not to notice it, but her legs were quivering, and she was worried that she would be forced to stay in this godforsaken wheelchair even after her leg healed. Within mere moments, they were up on the second floor, and Regina brought Emma into what had once been the guest room. It wasn’t much different than it was before, but now the bed was much lower and there were pictures on the walls that had previously been in her house. Pictures of her, Henry and Regina, along with pictures of her parents.

“Thanks for hanging these up, Regina. Thanks for _everything.”_

Regina smiled warmly at her. “You’re more than welcome, dear. I also brought over your band posters, but I haven’t put them up just yet.”

“You’d let me put my posters on your walls?”

“These are your walls, now, Emma. This room is all yours to do with as you please.”

Emma was stunned. _“Wow,”_ she breathed.

“I’ll be right back,” Regina told her, “I’ve got to set out the chicken to thaw. I’ll be making chicken parmesan for dinner.”

For the first time in a long time, Emma actually felt like she had an appetite. She smiled faintly.

“That sounds nice,” she said, “I look forward to it.”

Regina vanished in a plume of purple mist and Emma found herself alone in the room. She looked around at all the boxes with her things, and one in particular caught her eye. It was the box containing her baby blanket, one of her three most prized possessions.

The other two, of course, were her signature red jacket and her beloved yellow Volkswagen, but thinking of this caused her smile to disappear. She couldn’t see herself driving it ever again, and it would undoubtedly break down and slowly rot away, much like her own body was doing now. She clenched her trembling fists in her lap as tears fell from her eyes, and she hung her head in defeat.

She couldn’t believe Regina had gone through all this trouble to accommodate her. What was the point? She was nothing more than a burden now. She was no _Savior._ She would never amount to anything in her condition. Lifting her head, her eyes locked on the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. How easy would it be, she wondered, to ingest one too many sleeping pills so that she never had to wake up again? Simple enough, she supposed. The real challenge was rolling herself into the bathroom and actually reaching the cabinet.

Looking back, she saw that the coast was clear and started to push her wheelchair forward as best as she could, but then the scent of spiced apples hit her and she froze.

“Emma? Do you need to use the bathroom?”

Emma swallowed nervously and took a deep breath. “Uh, yeah,” she said, “I’ve got this.”

“I’m sorry, Emma, but I think you should let me help you.”

Emma squeezed her eyes shut, but didn’t say a word as Regina wheeled her into the bathroom. An overwhelming sense of guilt and shame suddenly washed over her and she gripped the arms of her chair as tightly as she could.

Regina bore a look of worry. “Are you alright? Do you need me to get you your pain medication?”

That was when Emma broke down. “Just give me the whole goddamn bottle, why don’t you?!” she cried, “Then I wouldn’t have to worry about busting my _fucking_ head open ever again!”

Tears streamed down Regina’s face. Her eyes were wide with horror. She pulled Emma into an almost bone-crushing embrace and refused to let go as the blonde wept onto her shoulder.

“Don’t you say that,” she whispered, “Don’t you _ever_ say that, Emma Swan, do you hear me?” Her voice grew louder as she pulled back, staring deep into the blonde’s bloodshot eyes. “Do you think this isn’t _just_ as painful for me as it is for you? _Do you?!_ Seeing you so defeated was agonizing enough! But then to walk in on you after you’d split your skull open at the bottom of the steps— it was traumatic! I know you don’t really want to open up to anyone just yet, but damn it, Emma, I thought you could at least be open with _me!_ I mean, I’m your best friend! You’re one of the few people in this world who truly understand me— who actually _trust me—_ and god damn it, Swan, I _love you!_ So don’t you ever tell me you want to end yourself like that! You think I haven’t considered it?! Of course I have! But I would never, ever go through with it! Do you know why? It’s because I have people here that I love dearly, and who love me just as much, if not more! I could never bring myself to hurt them like that! If you take that route, your pain will end, but ours will last a _lifetime!_ You are loved, Emma, and don’t you ever think otherwise— not even for a moment!”

Emma squeezed her eyes shut and exhaled through her nose. She took a long, deep breath before meeting Regina’s gaze once more.

“I’m tired,” she whispered, “I’m so _fucking_ tired.” She grit her teeth. “Just let me sleep.”

Even with her eyes open, all she could see was darkness.


	7. Daylight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is much happier than the last, I promise!

Emma squinted, shielding her eyes as Regina rolled her out of the house and towards the curb. The air was warm, the sun was shining brightly, and the Benz was already running with Henry in the back seat.

“Where are you taking me?”

“Granny’s,” said Regina, “I know it’s been a while since you ate there.”

Emma tensed. “Do we have to?”

“Don’t you think you should get out and be social? I think it would be good for you. Besides, you should at least get some fresh air. After lunch, we can all head up to the park for a while.”

“And what would _I_ do at the park? It’s not like I can climb on the jungle gym or get on the slide. I’ll just be sitting there doing nothing.”

“You could always sit in the swing.”

Emma huffed. “I’ll pass,” she muttered.

Regina smiled sympathetically and helped the blonde into the passenger seat before placing the wheelchair in the back with Henry. It had been two weeks since Emma moved into the mansion, two weeks since Regina had confessed her love for the blonde, and just as long since she removed all the drugs from the medicine cabinets, sealing them away in a safe. She gave pain pills to Emma when needed, but for the time being, she would not be allowing the Savior to have access to full bottles.

The ride to the diner was silent, save for the music playing quietly on the radio. Regina didn’t recognize it, but it wasn’t so bad, and no one else seemed to mind it, so she kept it there. As she pulled up along the curb, she and Henry helped Emma back into the wheelchair and the three of them headed into the diner.

The moment Emma came rolling through the door, all eyes were on her. She tried to ignore the stares, but it was difficult. She hadn’t considered it until just now, but she would not be able to sit in a booth— at least, not very easily. She opted to sit at a table with Regina and Henry, moving a chair aside. She finally had her appetite back, but she wasn’t really sure what she wanted.

Ruby came over with a notepad and a friendly smile. “Hey, Em. How’re you feeling?”

“I’ve had better days.”

“Well, I hope things get a little brighter for you,” said the waitress, “What can I get you to drink?”

As Emma flipped through the menu, she settled on a glass of water. This came as a surprise to Ruby.

“You don’t want cream soda?”

Emma shook her head. “Not this time.”

“Not even a chocolate milkshake?”

“No, that’s okay,” Emma said firmly, “I don’t need much.”

Henry looked at Regina expectantly. “Can I get a chocolate shake?”

“Just a small one, dear,” Regina told him.

Once Ruby had everyone’s drink order, she disappeared into the kitchen and the trio was left sitting in silence by the window. Emma stared out at the street longingly, wishing she could go for a jog on the sidewalk like old times. She was pulled from her thoughts when she felt Regina’s hand on hers and looked over to see the brunette smiling softly at her.

“Isn’t this nice, Emma?”

Emma shrugged. “I guess so— if you’re not stuck in a wheelchair with Parkinson’s.”

Regina’s smile faltered a bit, and before she could say a word, Ruby returned with their drinks, save for Henry’s.

“The ice cream machine is running a little slow today,” the waitress explained, “but I’ll have it out ASAP.”

Henry smiled. “Thanks, Ruby.”

“No problem, kiddo.” Ruby retrieved her notebook. “In the meantime, why don’t I go ahead and take your orders?”

Henry asked for a cheeseburger with fries, Regina ordered a salad, and Emma settled for the fish basket. They ate in silence, and sat a while longer while Henry enjoyed his milkshake. Regina covered the bill and the three of them made their way back out to the car.

Emma stared solemnly out the window as they rode to the park. Upon arriving, she was helped back into her wheelchair and Regina rolled her towards the bench, sitting next to her while Henry went to climb on the jungle gym.

“I know you might not think this is ideal, Emma, but I promise, it’s much better for you than being cooped up inside all day,” said Regina, “Besides, isn’t it nice to spend quality time with your family?”

Emma’s heart skipped a beat and she looked at Regina in surprise. “Family?” she whispered.

Regina smiled and nodded. “Yes, of course. Henry and I. We’re your family.”

Emma became misty-eyed and reached up with a trembling hand to wipe away her tears before they had a chance to fall. She felt Regina’s hand meet her shoulder and peered deep into the brunette’s kind eyes.

“I had no idea you felt that way.”

“Oh, don’t be silly,” said Regina, “You didn’t know I considered you family, even after all I’ve done for you? And all that I’ll continue doing? I told you, Emma, _I love you.”_

Emma couldn’t help but smile a little. “I believe you, I do. It’s just that very few people have ever told me that, so it’s a little hard to accept.”

Regina nodded. “I understand. Well, no matter what happens, I’ll always love you, even if you don’t feel the same way.”

This hurt Emma. “You think I don’t?”

Regina perked up. “Do you?”

Emma’s smile returned, and she nodded slowly. “Yes,” she whispered, “I’m just not that great at expressing my emotions, or talking about how I feel. You see, no one wanted to hear what I had to say when I was growing up. Only the social workers gave a damn, but then Henry came along, and he led me here— no, he led me _home—_ and nothing was the same after that.” She took a deep breath and stared out into the distance. “I owe you an apology, Regina. Hell, I owe you a thousand. I haven’t exactly been pleasant, and my condition is no excuse to be a jackass. I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for all the stupid, horrible shit I’ve said and done to you. I’m sorry for taking a chainsaw to your apple tree. I’m sorry for trying to take Henry from you. Most importantly, I’m sorry for having ever doubted you.”

Regina took hold of Emma’s hand ever so gently. “All is forgiven, Emma,” she murmured, “but I’m the one who should be apologizing. If it weren’t for me, you would never have been separated from your parents. You wouldn’t have grown up in foster care, gone to prison, or had to be the Savior.”

“Yeah, well, if I hadn’t gone through all that, I never would have had Henry,” said Emma, “and I never would have met _you._ Well, maybe I would have, but I imagine our interactions would be _much different.”_

“Right,” Regina said softly, “In that case, thanks for going to prison.”

Emma laughed, and it was genuine. “Thanks for casting the curse,” she said, “and for being my friend.”

They stared into each other’s eyes, both smiling brightly, and let out soft sighs.

 _“I love you,”_ they said in unison.

And all was well in the light of day.


	8. Drive

Emma was in the passenger seat, feeling groggy and impatient. It was much too early to be out and about, yet Regina had insisted she get in the car. Why, she hadn’t the slightest idea. She’d gotten dressed as quickly as she could and made her way out to the car with her cane. Four months had gone by since she was hospitalized and she no longer required a wheelchair, but she still felt the need for a cane. It made her feel much more secure.

She waited there for what seemed like an eternity, drumming her twitchy fingers in her lap. Her legs hadn’t been shaking lately, which led her to wonder if the staircase incident was a one-off, though she wasn’t about to get her hopes up. She was still going to avoid stairs like the plague. She supposed the lack of tremors was due to all the physical therapy Regina had been forcing her to do lately. They’d turned to the internet instead of Whale, knowing even _that_ would be more reliable.

Finally, Regina showed up with a warm smile and climbed into the running car. “Sorry about that. I was writing a note for Henry and making sure everything was in order,” she said.

Emma rubbed her tired eyes. “Where are we going, anyway?”

Regina’s smile widened. “You’ll find out once we get there.”

A soft sigh escaped Emma. “Well, will you at least tell me how long it’ll take to get there?”

“Oh, about two hours.”

 _“What?_ What could be so important that we have to drive _two hours?”_

“Patience, Emma,” Regina said, pulling away from the curb, “I’m absolutely certain you’ll have a nice time today.”

Emma was intrigued. “Oh yeah? Are you taking me to a Rob Zombie concert?”

“Afraid not, dear. To be honest, I have no idea who that even is.”

“Well I’d like to change that,” said Emma, “Does your car have Bluetooth?”

“Emma, I’ve had this car since ‘83,” Regina deadpanned, “No, it doesn’t have Bluetooth.”

Emma laughed. “It was worth a try.” She paused for a moment. “Are we going to a _Gwar_ concert?”

Regina just pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. “Emma, I swear—”

“Chill out, Madame Mayor. I was just kidding. I don’t think you’re hardcore enough for Gwar, anyway.”

Regina arched an eyebrow. “You think _I’m_ not hardcore? Oh, Emma, you have no idea who you’re dealing with. I listen to _Marilyn Manson.”_

Emma laughed so hard she burst into tears.

Regina frowned and slumped down in her seat a bit, now red in the face as her grip tightened on the steering wheel. This trip was going to be a lot longer than she’d anticipated.

* * *

At long last, they had reached their destination. When Regina pulled up to a secluded stone building, Emma was confused.

“What is this, Regina? A doctor’s office?”

“No, dear. It’s a spa.”

Emma’s eyebrows shot up. “A spa? Really?”

Regina nodded. “Yes. I hope you aren’t disappointed.”

“What? No, not at all,” Emma assured, “I’m just surprised. I’ve never been to one. What exactly goes on here?”

“Well, I know you said you didn’t want to do acupuncture, so I booked us both massages, and we’ll be spending some time in the sauna as well.”

Emma smiled. “Thank you, Regina. You’re the best, you know that?”

Regina chuckled softly. “I’ll take your word for it.”

Emma carefully climbed out of the car, cane in hand, and shivered from the cold. She looked over and tensed up when she saw a set of stairs leading up to the building, with no ramp in sight. She relaxed a bit when she felt Regina hook their arms together and smiled faintly at the brunette.

“Don’t worry, Emma,” Regina murmured, “I’ve got you.”

Emma nodded and slowly made her way up the stone steps with Regina there to support her. There weren’t that many steps, but it seemed like an eternity before they finally reached the top. When they finally did, Regina smiled proudly at the blonde.

“Well done, Emma.”

“I couldn’t have done it without you.”

Regina shook her head. “I was only supporting you. The rest was all you, my dear.”

* * *

Emma groaned as the masseuse’s hands worked the muscles on her back. It was uncomfortable and euphoric all at once, a sensation that bewildered her. She turned her head and saw Regina on the table to her left, and was stunned by the blissful expression masking the brunette’s flawless face.

Regina’s nude figure was shielded only by a white towel draped across that perfect ass, and Emma was suddenly grateful that the woman’s eyes were closed, for she didn’t want Regina to see the blush creeping onto her cheeks. Emma allowed her eyes to close as well, rendering her oblivious as Regina cracked one eye open to peer over at her momentarily with a soft smile.

If there was such a place as Heaven, Emma was certain this was it.

* * *

Later, Emma found herself wrapped up in a towel and sitting in the sauna. Sweat rolled down her body as she sat back with a pleasant sigh. Regina was sitting on the bench across from her, and they were the only two in the room. Seeing the brunette’s skin glisten with sweat brought Emma a strong sense of arousal. She squeezed her thighs together in an attempt to stop it, but this only made things worse. Regina looked up at her in confusion, and Emma felt her heart skip a beat.

“Are you alright, Emma?”

Emma took a deep breath. “Yep.”

“Are you sure?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Emma, I know you’re not being entirely honest with me. What’s going on? Are you in any pain?”

Emma quickly shook her head. “N-No,” she said, “Not pain.”

“Then what— _oh._ I see.”

A smile tugged at Regina’s lips as she moved to sit directly beside the blonde. Emma was trembling, and this time, Regina suspected it had nothing to do with Parkinson’s. The brunette placed her hand on Emma’s thigh and leaned in close, whispering softly into the younger woman’s ear.

_“Are you aroused, Em-ma?”_

Emma bit her lip. “M-Maybe.” She shuddered when Regina nipped at her earlobe. “Regina?”

“Yes, dear?”

“Are you trying to seduce me in a sauna?”

“Possibly.”

“I’m not saying I don’t appreciate the gesture, but maybe this isn’t the best place for it.”

“You’re right,” Regina said softly, “My mistake.” She kissed Emma’s cheek and moved back, but remained at the blonde’s side. “How are you liking the spa?”

“It’s great, Regina, thank you,” Emma told her earnestly, “I can’t even begin to tell you how grateful I am.”

Regina bore a knowing look. “You’re welcome, Emma,” she murmured.

* * *

Eventually, the two women were back in the car and on the road back to Storybrooke. When they were about halfway there, Regina slowed the car and pulled over onto the side of the road. Emma looked at the brunette in confusion, clutching her cane with quivering hands.

“Regina? Why are we stopping? Are we out of gas?”

Regina shook her head. “No, dear. There is something I meant to do much sooner, but I only just worked up the nerve. Could you open up the glove box for me, please?”

“Yeah, sure thing.” Emma opened it and peered inside. “What are you looking for? A CD?”

Regina chuckled. “No, no,” she said, “Reach into the very back.”

Emma did so and retrieved a small black box. She gripped it tightly so as to not drop it, and a confused frown made its way onto her face as she tried to comprehend what she was looking at. Her eyes slowly widened as realization struck, and tears slipped down her cheeks as she carefully opened it up. Inside was a beautiful diamond ring. She looked at Regina in disbelief.

 _“Regina,”_ she breathed, “Is this— Is this really happening?”

Regina had tears in her eyes as well, but didn’t bother fighting them. She offered a loving smile and a nod.

“Will you marry me, Emma?”

A sob escaped Emma. “Yes,” she declared, _“Yes.”_

Regina reached over and took the ring, gently sliding it onto the blonde’s finger. “My Savior,” she murmured, “My _soulmate.”_

“How long have you had this?” Emma rasped.

“A few weeks. I had the dwarves forge it for me. They even found the diamond. Well, with the exception of Grumpy. He’s a worse gossip than Snow.”

Emma let out a rich laugh and leaned over to kiss the brunette. “I love you, Regina,” she whispered.

_“And I you, Emma.”_


	9. Dreaming

A week after their trip to the spa, Emma and Regina headed up to the courthouse and got married then and there. They both came to the decision that they didn’t desire any sort of extravagant, over-the-top, expensive wedding. It wasn’t the wedding itself that mattered. All they were concerned with was the many happy years to come.

Despite her many shortcomings, and all the hardships she’d been facing within the past year, Emma no longer felt the world crashing down around her. She had a ring on her finger and was able to provide one for Regina as well, with a large chunk of her savings. Regina would have had a conniption if she knew how much the ring had cost, which was precisely why Emma had chosen not to tell her.

Even so, Emma opted to take Regina’s name as her own. She’d never been a fan of hyphenated names, and she wasn’t about to ask the Queen to become _Swan-Mills._ ‘Regina Mills’ her name would remain, and from now on, her beloved wife and Savior would only be _Emma Mills._

One sunny afternoon, many weeks later, when Regina came home from work, she was carrying a large cardboard box with wide holes in the side. There was something shuffling around inside it. Emma walked towards her, cane in hand, and greeted her with a kiss.

“Welcome home,” Emma said softly, “What’s in the box?”

Regina bore a loving smile and gently set down the box, opening up the lid to reveal a tiny, mewling kitten. Its fur was entirely black, save for the tuft of white on its chest, and it stared up at the two women with soft blue eyes. Emma’s heart melted right then and there, and Regina picked up the precious creature, holding it like a baby.

“Is it a boy or a girl?”

“A boy. He’s almost two months old,” said Regina, “but he hasn’t got a name yet. I thought you might like to give him one.”

Emma reached out with a trembling hand and stroked the kitten’s sweet head, smiling sweetly. “You’re such a handsome little fella,” she murmured, “You need a nice, strong name to match.” She was quiet for a moment as she thought it over. _“Ironside.”_

Regina arched an eyebrow. “You’re naming him _Ironside?”_

“Well, yeah,” Emma said matter-of-factly, “Like a mighty warrior. He’ll be our little protector.” She stroked the kitten’s belly, and he was quick to latch onto her finger with his tiny claws. She laughed in response. “Yes, you’ll be the best guardian, won’t you, Ironside?” she cooed.

The kitten let out a squeaky meow and the two women laughed aloud, which seemed to draw Henry’s attention. He came out of his room and peered down at them from the balcony with a gasp.

“Is that a kitten?!” he cried.

“Yes, dear,” said Regina, “but please use your inside voice.”

Henry smiled awkwardly. “Sorry.” He made his way down in the elevator and hurried over to see the new kitten. “What’s his name?”

“Ironside,” said Regina, “Emma came up with it.”

“That’s so cool!” Henry declared.

Emma smiled. “Glad you think so, kid.”

She laughed softly when the kitten began to bite her finger. She hadn’t known it until the past five minutes, but this was exactly what she needed.

* * *

The following day, Henry came downstairs and asked Regina if she would take him to the park.

“Of course, sweetheart.” Regina looked to Emma with uncertainty. “Would you like to join us, dear?”

To her surprise, Emma responded with a bright smile. _“I’d love to.”_

And so the three of them headed to the park, and rather than sit on the bench, Emma made her way towards the swings, cane in hand. She gripped the chains tightly as she took a seat and set her cane aside. As she closed her eyes, she slowly began stepping back and when she let her feet slip out from under her, she released a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding, and she found herself high up in the air.

She went back down and pushed herself higher. She did it a third time and then a fourth, again and again until she was grinning with delight. Even so, tears streamed down her face. It had been so long since she’d allowed herself to have this much fun.

The happier moments of her childhood flashed through her mind. It was then that she realized she’d always felt content when she was on the swing. Why that was, she wasn’t exactly sure. Perhaps because it gave her some semblance of control. The swing was only guiding her, but she was the one pushing.

After a while, she noticed Regina was standing there watching her with a warm smile, and she slowed to a halt.

“Don’t stop on my behalf. You seemed like you were enjoying yourself.”

Emma’s smile widened. “I was,” she said, “More than I have in years.” She sighed softly. “I honestly don’t know why I didn’t do this sooner.”

Regina took hold of both Emma’s hands and smiled when they stopped trembling, though it was only for a moment. Even so, it was a welcome surprise.

“Maybe you were just afraid of letting yourself be happy.”

Emma was stunned. “You know what? You’re right,” she confessed, “but things are different now.” She took a slow, deep breath. “I’m sorry, Regina.”

“Sorry? For what?”

“For scaring you _that day.”_

“Emma, the staircase incident wasn’t your fault. You don’t owe me an apology.”

Emma shook her head. “I wasn’t talking about the staircase.”

“Then what—”

“I meant the day I told you I wanted to die,” Emma said, wiping away her tears, “I should never have said any of that, much less thought it. My life may not be perfect, but I have the perfect home and the perfect family to share it with, and I think that’s all that matters. Whatever happens to me, well, it’s going to happen, but at least I’ll have the support of the people who love me.”

Before Regina could say a word, Henry came rushing over excitedly, oblivious to the tears on the faces of his mothers.

“Mom! The ice cream truck is here! Can I get some? _Please?”_

Regina wiped her tears away discretely and offered her son a warm smile.

“Of course, dear. Why don’t we all have some?”

Henry was ecstatic. “Yeah!”

Emma smiled softly. “Sounds perfect,” she murmured.

And it was.


	10. Days Gone By

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the end, you guys. Hope you all enjoyed the story :)

It was Thanksgiving Day. There was a knock at the door and Regina opened it to find her in-laws on the other side. It was very strange, having her former stepdaughter for a mother-in-law, but that was just one single leaf on a branch in their bizarre family tree. Nonetheless, she invited them inside and they took their seats at the dining room table, where all sorts of food was laid out. There was fresh corn, green beans, macaroni and cheese, deviled eggs, stuffing, and of course, a steaming turkey at the center.

Regina bore a warm smile as she stood up. “I’d like everyone to go around and say what it is they’re thankful for,” she said, “As is tradition in this world. I’ll start. I am thankful for all of you, and for the kindness and forgiveness I have been shown despite my many sins.” She sat back down and looked to Henry with a nod.

“I’m thankful for my family, my friends, and everyone in Storybrooke,” Henry said with a grin.

“I’m thankful for all that and more,” David said, smiling fondly at his wife.

Snow placed a hand on his arm. “You took the words right out of my mouth.”

Everyone looked to Emma expectantly, surprised when she pushed herself up with the help of her cane. She had tears threatening to fall despite the wide smile gracing her lips.

“I’m thankful for all the love and support you’ve given me,” she said, “I’m thankful for my wife and son, my wonderful parents, and for all the opportunities I’ve had in this life to succeed, be it in the outside world or right here in Storybrooke. I may not be as physically adept as I once was, and there may come a day where I won’t be able to do much of anything, but you know what? That doesn’t scare me anymore. Not the way it used to. I might have to use special cups and utensils these days, and my cane to get around, but I’m still the Savior. It’s taken me a long time to realize something. Just because I’m the Savior doesn’t mean I don’t need saving. For the longest time, I kept telling myself what I had wasn’t a disease, but I can’t hide from the truth anymore. Despite my condition, you all have been there for me every step of the way, and I couldn’t be more grateful if I tried, so thank you— all of you— and if you don’t mind waiting a little longer, I’d like to personally carve this turkey.”

Regina smiled up at her. “That was beautiful, Emma. _Of course_ you can carve the turkey. Just let me know if you need a hand.”

Emma gave a small nod. “Will do, Your Majesty,” she said fondly.

She picked up her specially-made knife and fork and began cutting into the turkey, filling everyone’s plates before piling some of the tender meat onto her own. She sat down with a satisfied smile and filled the rest of her plate with more delicious food. She and Regina exchanged a loving smile before digging into their meals.

That day, and for many more to come, the Mills house was filled with joyous laughter and merriment. After all was said and done, and things eventually quieted down, Regina led Emma into the study and poured two glasses of red wine. Emma seemed reluctant when she saw this.

“I don’t think I should be holding your expensive glass. I’ll probably drop it.”

“Don’t you worry about that, darling,” Regina murmured, “I can hold it for you.”

Emma smiled and sipped slowly from the offered glass, humming in satisfaction. _“Divine,”_ she whispered, “Just like you.”

A smile graced Regina’s painted lips. “Thank you, dear.” She took a sip of her own wine. “I had a wonderful time today, Emma, and that speech you gave was truly beautiful. I can’t express that enough.”

“Happy to hear it,” Emma said, placing a trembling hand on her wife’s shoulder, “You know, I never imagined someone would actually ask me to marry them.” Her smile grew wider. “I’m just glad it was you.”

* * *

_**Seven years later…** _

It was late into the night, and rain pattered against the windows. The room was lit only by the dim lamps on each nightstand. Regina helped Emma into bed and leaned down to kiss the blonde’s forehead, though it took her a few tries. She smiled lovingly at her wife and gave Emma’s hand a gentle squeeze.

“I love you, Emma,” she rasped, circling the bed to climb under the covers next to her soulmate.

“I— l-love you, too,” Emma stammered, smiling back at the brunette, “H-Have sweet dreams.”

“Likewise, my darling.” Regina draped an arm across Emma’s midriff and held the blonde close to her.

Eventually, Emma began to drift into a deep sleep, and when she did, the shaking ceased. With a touch of magic, Regina shut off the lights and rested her head next to Emma’s with a fond smile. Soon they were both dreaming peacefully, and all was quiet within the Mills residence.

The tremors had now spread to Emma’s entire body, reaching her head a little over two months ago, and she could never sit completely still no matter how hard she tried, but try she did. This made speaking a tad difficult, but for the time being, she was very much coherent. She could still walk, but not as easily as she once had. She spent much of her time in her wheelchair, and perhaps it should have, but it no longer bothered her the way it had, once upon a time.


End file.
